Hello
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So You Want to Be an ISP in the South of France?
(a public service FAQ)
Part 3: Oh-la-la, an
Entrepreneur!
Back in 1789, the French overthrew their monarchy and aristocrats and
became the first country in Europe to implement democratic government.
Vive le peuple!
Two centuries later, it appears they have had second thoughts, albeit
subliminally. Without going so far as to ask the Bourbons to come back to
royal power, they have done the next best thing, creating and carefully
feeding the concept of "l'Administration", which is now plump and juicy,
but unfortunately for France and frenchpersonnes everywhere, completely
inedible.
From the point of view of the entrepreneurial type trying to get
something done (such as starting up an ISP in the south of France), the
difference between dealing with l'Administration or dealing with simple
bureaucrats (the flavor that most of you are already familiar with) is
the difference between having to dodge a single over-the-hill linebacker
with sore feet and a bad back or being forced to ride to the 47th floor
in a freight elevator packed with 30 or 40 of same.
How does French society handle the ride?
Well, grumpily.
80% of today's frenchpersonnes, who can normally never agree on anything,
all agree that the Administration must be down-sized. It is stifling
economic initiative. It is driving everyone crazy, and this is
particularly galling in the land that coined the word "entrepreneur".
However, the other 20%, (this just happens to be the percentage of the
population who work for l'Administration), have another point of view,
which is based on four critical points:
- 56% of France's annual GDP pass through their hands.
- Laws dating back to the Napoleonic Code decree that, in the eyes of
the law, the concept of the French government 'being wrong' (or by
extension, the people employed by it) is not recognized.
- The employees of l'Administration have developed a work model whereby
all of of their important work is done amongst and between themselves.
There is little time left in the schedule for dealing with the problems
of normal french citizens. The thought of having to do so one day is not
acceptable.
- The salary levels and benefits going to members of l'Administration
are, on average, 15% superior to those of people working similar jobs in
the private sector.
Given these elements, it becomes apparent that any attempt to reduce the
pervasiveness of l'Administration in French society, is met by a grumpy
response by the 20%. This grumpiness can take the form of ignoring normal
citizens for hours when they finally get to the front of the line, or it
can take the form of a paralyzing nationwide strike. In any case,
everyone is very nice to all those who work for l'Administration.
And the Entrepreneur in all this?
If you can't get a job in l'Administration, all is not lost - you can try
for a job in the private sector. If you can't get a job in the private
sector, you can think about starting your own business. But be
forewarned:
- You will spend days and nights in various
Administration offices filling out forms and writing checks. The checks
must be drawn on the account of the to-be-formed business. The
to-be-formed business does not exist yet, so it can't have a checking
account. The helpful folks at l'Administration will explain to you why it
has to be like this, but not to worry, and please come back tomorrow.
- When all the forms are filled out (count 2 months), the true
Administrative process starts. You will be told the approximative date
when your charter will be official and you can theoretically start your
business (count one additional month). A few days before the official
certification you will be notified by registered mail of which forms were
improperly filled out, and given a rendez-vous to come by various
Administration offices to get fresh copies. The administrateur who hands
you the new forms will smile at you and promise to do everything in his
or her power to speed up the officialization process so that you don't
have to wait an additional month to get going. You should smile and say
thank you.
- You will have to pay about 20,000 francs/year in social charges the
first year of activity, whether you make a profit or not. In exchange you
will receive 30% less national healthcare insurance than a salaried
employee, a smaller pension, and everyone in l'Administration will assume
you are cheating on your payments. You will also be blamed for the 12.5%
unemployment rate, the national debt, the unfavorable franc/deutschmark
exchange rate, last year's deficient grape harvest, and this year's
particularly virulent outbreak of the flu.
But you are an entrepreneur in France!
On to Part IV
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